Feelings are cues, not commands

The Compass Point:

Feelings are cues, not commands.

The Issue:

We have all experienced it - Your child receives a simple request, like it is time to put away their toys and get ready for bed, but instead of being obedient, they have a meltdown.

The Reset:

Your instinct may be to correct the behavior right away, but intentional parenting helps your child process their feelings while also correcting the behavior. Your child needs to learn that feelings are cues, not commands.

Feelings are part of being human, and useful tools for navigating life. Your job is to train them not to let their feelings control them. If we did that, most of us would stay in bed all day and eat cupcakes. We would be up 100 lbs overweight, diabetic, and unemployed.

Try this this week:

As part of your correction, name what your child may be feeling: “I know you’re upset because playtime is over. I understand that, but it’s time to clean up now. We still need to listen and do what we’re told.”

Pro Tip:

Don't bribe or manipulate. Obedience is its own reward; the sooner this lesson is learned, the better off your child will be because it remains true throughout life.

If this helped you, share it with another parent who’s trying to raise their kids with more intention.

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